Sign of Weakness
by ThisShipSailsItsSelf
Summary: John's POV. Some days, John can't even look at himself. Added 'Sign of Strength' here as a second chapter.
1. Chapter 1

Sign of Weakness

John stands in front of the mirror with his shirt off. His eyes are glued to the scaring on his shoulder.

Hands brush the ugly pink ridges of crudely healed flesh. He hates them. Not the look of them, he isn't a vain man. Even if a he _can_ still see the looks of horror flash across his previous lovers faces. Ranging from momentary and guilty to flat-out unapologetic. It always stings, but still, he's not some self-conscious teenager. The rest of him is relatively fit, so he's been told, and none of them cared for _long._

No. It isn't the scaring itself, though it's hardly ideal. It's what they stand for. They are a sign of his failure, permanently etched into his skin. He was meant to heal the injured, keep men safe. Not become a damn liability to his men. Not pass out over a patient in desperate need of his help.

They are a sign of his stupidity, not taking the appropriate steps to ensure he was safe before trying to staunch the bleeding on that young soldier. If he'd just taken a few more seconds, made sure they were in the clear, before he let his mind zero in on the patient. He wouldn't have been shot. The boy would have lived.

They are a sign of his uselessness. The root of that damned tremor in his hand. The tremor that took his job as a surgeon away. The tremor that took his reason to live away. His purpose. Years of medical school and army training, and he's going to spend the rest of his life dealing with snot-nosed kids, paranoid mothers and hypochondriac's.

He puts his shirt on and turns away. Some days, he can't look at himself. Some days, he's not sure how Sherlock doesn't turn away as well.

**A/N Not a particularly unique theme but it wouldn't stop dogging me so here we are lol This will have a companion piece in Sherlock's POV if anyone wants it. Review and let me know!**

…**I haven't posted the next chapter for "Taking Care of His Blogger" yet… I'm a terrible person, I know! Soon hopefully! **


	2. Chapter 2

Sign of Strength

John's been staring at his scars in the mirror again. Sherlock can see it in the self-loathing written all over his face.

Sherlock doesn't understand it. Which is irritating, because he is accustomed to understanding _everything_. He knows John despises his scars. Knows the shorter man sees them as an ugly reminder of his perceived failures. Sherlock could not disagree more. He, for one, has never seen anything more beautiful than the fascinating pink ridges covering his bloggers shoulder.

He firmly believes every inch of the crudely healed flesh would tell him a story, if only John would let him look. Let him read him with his eyes like text in a book. With his hands, like braille. He especially wants to read them with his hands, though he knows John would never permit such a thing. Would shake his head and call it 'not good'. Or worse, fly into one of his strops.

Sherlock knows of course, what they would tell him. They would tell a tale of selflessness, thinking of the safety and well-being of another, instead of his own. A tale of skill, performing medical care in the chaos and danger of a battle field. Most of all, though, they would tell a story of strength. Of surviving against the odds.

John's lovers are less than kind the first time they see them. Simpletons, all of them. How can they not see these things etched into his skin? Sherlock hates them all. Perhaps if they had enough brains to understand, John would be more willing to let others see and touch. To let Sherlock see and touch.

Those wonderful scars from an injury that sent him back to London. To Sherlock. They breathed new life into Sherlock, gave him a new purpose. Life was so much less boring with John by his side.

They are completely absorbing. Some days, Sherlock doesn't know if he could look away. Some days, he's not sure how John does.

**A/N I have no life, so here's the companion piece to 'Sign of Weakness' a whole one hour later! haha I hope I did Sherlock as much justice as John. Review and let me know what you think!**

**So I decided to post this together with 'Sign of Weakness' for convenience's sake, seeing as they go hand in hand. I may do a third and final chapter bringing the two together, if anyone thinks that's a good idea. If you like them better where they left off, i'll just let them alone lol**


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